Dating in the Digital Age

BY CHRISTIANNA CASALETTO // MARCH 31, 2015 //

Each decade has a staple idea of relationships and how to approach them. It wasn’t until after the 1980s that cellphones became popular, probably due to the influence of the dreamy Zack Morris (of “Saved by the Bell” fame, of course).

But the use of technology in everyday life has seemingly taken over much of life. According to one Internet trend report, people check their phones an average of 150 times per day. Per day!

PHOTO BY TOM BREAM, creative commons
PHOTO BY TOM BREAM, creative commons

A significant amount of time spent on technology is in the pursuit of love, or lust. This includes Instagram stalking, post liking, social media checking, and the such. Hearing of a relationship that didn’t evolve from a text or “friending” someone is almost nonexistent today.

We are a generation concerned with selfie likes and tweet favorites, a generation looking for instant gratification and public confirmation. Are you really in a relationship with someone if it isn’t Facebook official? If you aren’t his #womancrushwednesday every week, then what’s the point?

The point is we need to disconnect so we can learn how to truly connect.

Things as simple as holding a phone conversation or — gasp! — talking face-to-face have become major challenges for many young people. Instead of talking to a partner about one’s problems, people send a paragraph-long text about how much they care. Instead of approaching the boy/girl you find attractive, and telling them how you feel, it’s easier to “like” an Instagram post or to “favorite” a tweet.

An “LOL” or smiley face emoji will not compare to hearing a true, hardy laugh at a witty joke. A text won’t comfort someone the same way a heartfelt hug would. And “I love you” sounds a million times better when said in person.

The only way to save ourselves from an emotionless life of digital relationships is to change the way we approach dating, like a Boston College professor asked her class to do. Push yourselves out of your comfort zone. Take a risk and go up to the girl or guy you’ve been crushing on. Don’t tweet about them using code words. Talk…to…them.

If we don’t make some changes, and soon, human-to-human interaction will become unnecessary altogether. We will become a group of mute, robotic beings who send kissy face emojis when the priest texts the groom “to kiss the bride.”

Going the Distance…in a Relationship

BY COLE MCNANNA // SEPT. 29, 2014 //

Relationships can be tough. They need time and effort to work.

Long-distance relationships are even tougher, because the time required isn’t always easy to come by.

Last year, my girlfriend and I had the luxury of living two minutes away from each other in Milford, Mass. We drove to our high school together most every day, and we could see one another just about anytime we wanted.

But because Molly, my girlfriend, is a grade below me, she’s still in Milford. I’m a freshman here at Curry College, which is about 40 minutes away from home. It isn’t as if we’re on other ends of the world, but it is a significant change from what we’re used to.

PHOTO BY JHAYMESISVIPHOTOGRAPHY // https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
PHOTO BY JHAYMESISVIPHOTOGRAPHY // https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

As with all relationships, there have been big fights and little fights. We have been able to work through them, but it’s a little different connecting with your significant other when away at college. At home we could go for a drive and talk about things. Now, most of our time talking is done over the phone.

If you want to keep your long-distance relationship alive and well, you need to find a communication strategy that works for you. Take full advantage of technology, and make a point to communicate on a daily basis, says the online dating service eHarmony. Use email, text, video chat, Snapchat, phones…whatever. If you want to stay connected, you need to stay connected.

Ultimately, however, distance never dooms a long-distance relationship. Breakups are often the result of things people do when away from their girlfriend or boyfriend, particularly when feeling lonely. According to Cosmo magazine, there are ways to figure out if your distance partner is cheating, such as dramatic changes in tone when talking over the phone.

So remember: If you want your long-distance relationship to work, you need to figure out ways to close that distance.

 

The Truth About Relationships

BY TANYA WILLIAMS // FEB. 14, 2014 //

At Curry, as well as many other colleges and universities, the term “relationship” is rarely used. There are the select few who subject themselves to the joy and/or hell of a boyfriend or girlfriend, and good for them.

But why do so many college students refuse to “settle down” with one person?

YmZlMmJkNTA1OCMvY0pvaXVCM0J1NVRLMDRFYlZxZmZnYmFOR1l3PS84NDB4NTMwL3NtYXJ0L2ZpbHRlcnM6cXVhbGl0eSg3NSk6c3RyaXBfaWNjKDEpL2h0dHAlM0ElMkYlMkZzMy5hbWF6b25hd3MuY29tJTJGcG1idWNrZXQlMkZzaXRlJTJGYXJ0aWNsZXMlMkYxNzc0MSUyRm9yaWdpbmFsLmpwZw==For guys, it’s often because they want as many notches as possible in their proverbial belts during their carefree college years. As for girls, too many are too stuck up and believe that guys on campus aren’t worth a commitment. They often think that guys are more mature and better looking in the “real world” somewhere off campus (kudos for the optimism, I suppose).

Of course, that doesn’t mean girls and guys on college campuses avoid each other. Heck no! It just means we routinely find ourselves in unclear situations. By the way, studies have shown this isn’t simply a millennial issue.

Most college students live away from home, and sometimes in co-ed buildings. There are no curfews and no adult supervision. Of course we are going to make some questionable Friday night decisions. One’s college years are supposed to involve “mistakes,” and maybe even a few regrets.

But none of that means we can’t at least try to clear up some of those awkward situations and conversations in advance.

Guys, tell a girl your honest intentions. I promise it will help, not hurt you. What will hurt is the emotionally unstable girl whose yoga pants are cutting off the circulation to her brain, and who thought your sweet nothings meant more than a single night together.

As for the girls: Never believe what a guy is telling you (unless he’s complimenting you; compliments never hurt anyone!). Stay honest and be upfront. It will save both parties from uncertainties down the road.

For those of you who are looking for something that extends beyond a college dorm room, don’t look while wearing beer goggles. If you are interested in someone, address them before a party, whether in class or in the dining hall. Forming a real relationship before getting liquored up makes a huge difference.

But most importantly, have fun in college. Kiss a lot of people. And never let your Friday night be anything more or less than fun.

Make Time to Find Yourself

BY ALYSSA MCCANN // SEPT. 23, 2013 //

Space and time. They seem infinite and plentiful, but it’s how we manage the two that often defines the success of our relationships.

Some of the best moments in a young person’s life are shared with people they enjoy being around. But giving others space, or choosing independence for yourself, is often the best thing to do.

complicatedIt is great to spend time with someone you are in a relationship with, but the healthiest relationships consist of independent people who can be themselves when together. If you hear your boyfriend or girlfriend ask for space or want to do things alone, don’t freight or freak out. You should want the same for yourself!

The only way you will be happy with your life, and your relationships, is when you are first truly happy with yourself.

I have watched too many friends invest  time and energy into a person who did not reciprocate. And trust me when I tell you, those relationships don’t last. And they shouldn’t.

Give yourself a chance to be alone and experience life. It’s one of the best ways to grow; we need to make mistakes and live our own lives. That way, we are giving our best selves to others.

People often cling to situations and relationships. They live in fear of change and the unknown, and stick with what they know—even if it’s less than ideal. The trick to life is not to worry about the future. Our future relies on us to let go, and to move on with the things that don’t fill us up any longer

Dealing With it Ex-cellently

BY ALYSSA McCANN // OCT. 30, 2012 //

In my last blog, I discussed the jealous girlfriend. As we all know, she is scary and I hope you all are staying away from her.

This topic is how to get over your ex. I know the thought of your ex either makes you cringe or cry. But there are some do’s and don’ts for getting over your ex.

There are three simple rules to follow immediately after a break up. I truly believe these rules work (if you stick to them). Some may be harsh, but take my word for it: You can do it!

The most important thing to do after becoming single again is to focus on you. // PHOTO FROM http://www.flickr.com/photos/i-am-rebecca/6739106129/ //

Ladies and gentleman, rule No. 1 after a break up is delete them from your Facebook! Let’s be honest here. Social media brings up arguments and an excuse for your ex to contact you and say something like, “Wow, you’re hanging out with him?” (There is nothing more annoying than that.) By deleting your ex it prevents you from “creeping” on them, which will get you even more upset.

If you’re really done and trying to move forward follow rule No. 2: delete his or her number. I know it’s hard, but it prevents you from saying things that you should never say. I have witnessed my friends’ text their old boyfriend or girlfriend and then regret it in the morning. Don’t be that person.

Rule No. 3 is focus on you. It’s the most important of the three rules. Do not let your ex define you. They did not complete you or make you whole. Use this break up as a time to move on and embrace life as a single college student.

I know revenge is the sweetest thing, and I know you’re thinking about ways to get them back while planning evil scenarios in your mind. But sometimes revenge doesn’t have to be so evil. Don’t make yourself look like a fool by trying to get your ex’s attention.

The best revenge is to show them that you are doing well without them by your side, which is such a slap in the face! (Wait who are you again? Oh, just my ex.) Karma is a, well, you know. Just don’t let karma get back to you!

Remember, break ups are like cleaning out a cluttered closet. You don’t want to get rid of things, but sometimes your have to. And in the end, you won’t regret it!